Rhonda,

I know exactly what you are talking about. As the treatments got harder Harry would try and try not to go. I had friends take him because he would not refuse to go once they showed up at the house. I think he was more afraid of inconveniencing them or something. Our friends new about his attitude and were gracious and helpful. There were times when I would have to invite someone else to come and talk to him to remind him of why he was going through all of this.

Towards the very end of radiation I had to get really nasty with him. I had to threaten to get one of our son-in-laws to come and force him in the car. He never let it go that far but he certainly bitched the whole way. It was the hardest thing he has ever endured but he made it and other than the weight loss if you look at him now you would never know what he went through.

Get the tube. Make the appointment and just tell him he is going. Enlist your friends if necessary. Harry fought the tube for too long and when he became bedridden and couldn't hardly move at all he regretted that decision. He was so weak from the treatments already and the lack of nutrition and weightloss really made things worse.

As he recovered he started using the tube by himself and eventually I had to have it removed because he had gone to the opposite extreme and became dependant on it.

Today, while his food doesn't always taste grand, he has found some foods that he really likes and he eats what he can. He also drinks protein shakes to supplement. It is hard to imagine that 6 months ago life was so much harder but as time has passed our lives have sort of returned to normal and he is getting stronger by the day.

Hang in there but as a caregiver do not be afraid to be forceful, tricky, or whatever it takes to get him to the finish line. Funny most of that Harry doesn't even remember now so for him it never happened. That is ok with me. What made the stuff I had to do to get him through this more bareable was that the alternative was not an option.

Do what you can and drop in anytime you need a little lift.

Best to you both!

Cindy