Hi Colleen

I too, had the partner who went through hell, seemingly refusing to help himself or allow others to help him, hanging tough to everyone's detriment and lashing out without warning.

We are out the other side and Alex and I are stronger than ever. I found that when I realised that our reactions to things were "normal" I was better able to deal with it - I hope this knowledge gives you some comfort too.

My worst times were at night when I was dog tired, and after falling into bed would come wide awake and start churning myself up over imagined and real issues. Late at night I would wonder if I had the strength to keep going. But day after day I would awake prepared to fight another day with no thought of failure. And then it would begin all over again the next night ...

I often told my mother when she rang to check on me that I would wait to have my nervous breakdown until Alex was all sorted as I didn't have time for one right now. This became my mantra and it got me through.