Sorry to be jumping in to this discussion late. Like you, I love the subject, and like you my partner and I are having our share of problems with sex that are tied to and not tied to my cancer and treatment... but that's another story all together. As for the question of your husband and oral sex... in the lesbian community something called "dental dams" became popular during the beginning of the AIDS pandemic as there was some evidence of the possibility of transmission via vaginal secretions. I have never actually used one but perhaps this might make your husband more open to engaging in oral sex. I am six months post treatment and, for me, the thought of giving oral sex just plain hurts. My mouth is still considerably compromised from treatment. I can imagine, though, that when it heals more I will want to resume giving oral sex, but I can also imagine some stress the first time. It doesn't really matter from whom one got the virus - at least that is how I feel - but the act could be a painful reminder of the misery the virus did cause. But that is just me. Here is a link I found doing a quick search for dental dams; http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/std/oral/dentaldam.html. Maybe this will help. -Michelle