From some one who have gone through treatment - I have trouble with both of what you mentioned. Its the lack of saliva and control of tongue/mouth that makes it impossible. I'm only 1 yr out and have difficulty with both. So I doubt very much that it has anything to do with your hubby worrying about catching
HPV. If i could kiss my husband properly like I used to i would definitely do it but we have to settle for kisses on cheeks and lips (no tongue involvement!!) Yes its very sad to for me too, I wish I could give him a passionate kiss like before but it just would not work. And well oral sex - if he cant kiss properly he probably feel like he cant do a good job at it either. If you cant control your tongue then it makes it a bit difficult?? With me, limited mouth opening makes this a bit of a problem!!! Too much info from me??