Chris & I have been together a little over 5 years (3 years @ diagnosis). There is no one I would rather be with, look at or talk to! We don't live together and certainly had our ups and downs before the diagnosis. I should say that I knew before my diagnosis that he didn't handle illness well (watching him lose his dad, aunt and cousin in a relatively short period of time) so there were a lot of "unknowns" for me going into this.

We have this incredible and undescrible passion between us and when they told me about the treatment and that they were going to pull my teeth, I thought well this is it. I didn't see him for 2 weeks after the surgery and by the time he did see me I had lost 25 pounds. Which freaked him out! Fast forward to starting chemo, lost my hair right away and by that time I had lost about 40 pounds. Knowing him, I would try to figure out just what he saw and thought while I was going through this. I don't know how well I can get my thoughts and feelings out on this (crying as I'm typing this and remembering) but I just wanted at least ONE thing to be normal for me while I was going through this and that turned out to be my Chris! As much as we could, we continued to keep things as normal as we could...which involved a lot of kissing, maybe not the long, soulful kisses but kissing...keeping our connection! Surprised even my doctors that I would even want to be kissed or touched while going through this.

I'll never forget the day when Dr. R wanted to talk to me about "intimacy" issues and I said "no worries, Doc, we're all good" and the look on his face when he said "really"??

I have the severe dry mouth issues like most of you and on top of that had to learn how to kiss with dentures! So many times, I was afraid he would never want to kiss me again! There were times as I looked in the mirror (70 pounds later) and would wonder and try to figure out what did he see and why was he still here with me???

I know the answer now....it's LOVE!! I don't have too many other answers and I don't know how long we will be together but it is so, so good and is something I will always treasure.

Cathi