Sal,
Deep breath...now release. You need to take care of you and yes please eat. I felt bad too but...I told Ron I have to eat to be strong and healthy to take care of him. Oh he would say some mean things to me when he couldn't eat and I did. "are you punishing me by eating?" "No, I am keeping up my stregnth and health to go to work everyday" He would get mad at me cuz I love to watch Hell's Kitchen and he would get mad when he saw food on TV. I can't stop that and I'm NOT stopping watching what I like on TV because it bothered him. We have other TV's to watch. Sounds mean huh? But really it's not. We need to do what we need to do to survive also even though we are not the ones with the cancer. He even yelled at the TV whenever they had stories of cancer patients or the cancer walks that he was sick and tired of hearing about cancer. Well sorry, it happens to other people too Ron, and these stories help with survival and hope to end these cancers! He would say mean stuff about me being "fat" even though he yells at me for saying that about myself, he says I'm not and he loves me just the way I am. So yep my head was spinning! So, I ate in front of him, I cooked for my kids whenever they came over because cooking is relaxing to me and I enjoy it so much. I always am cooking. I started to go out for a "me time" every Tuesday to BW3's for wing night to get out of the house and he would encourage me to go too. Or go out to dinner with my kids during the week so I didn't have to cook. It helps alot! I go do things. Now Ron is eating up a storm!! This second bout and surgery for some reason has made his swallowing much better for all the different textures and he is actually able to get down ground meat and chicken! I'm so excited!! And so is he. He even ate my bowtie italian pasta salad! He had to cut it up and add more dressing to it but he ate a whole darn bowl yesterday with the tomatoes in it too and cukes! It takes awhile but hang in there, it will get better! And please eat. I'm sure your husband does not want you to go without food.
