@ Jeanna: You are my hero. You are also my friend and my sister. Because of you, and other kind and generous caregivers on the OCF forum, I have stayed afloat when I thought I'd drown for sure. You are one of the strongest women I know. You care so deeply, that it feels like weakness. It isn't. It is compassion. I think people who are afraid to care are the ones who are weak. They are the ones who can't visit someone in the hospital because they don't like hospitals. They are the "poofers" who disappear when someone they love gets sick. They are too weak to even stick around.

Eric is right, you don't have to go it alone or without anything to help you make it through the rough times. No sense in suffering unnecessarily. And, emotions and fear hit often after getting through the initial trauma. I remember when my grandmother took a serious fall when she was living with us. I was about 13 and home alone with her at the time. Her skin was like wet tissue paper--it bruised and tore so easily. She assured me she was fine and didn't want me to call an ambulance. So, I dressed the wounds, cleaned her up, and cleaned up the blood puddled on the carpet. It wasn't until I was finally able to reach my mother on the phone that I got emotional and near hysterical. My grandmother had no idea. She told my mom that I had been so calm and took care of everything just right. We know we need to keep it together to take care of the ones we love and we don't want to add to their suffering. But, we can't deny that what they are going through doesn't affect us deeply. It has to surface sometime in order for us to regain our balance and mental health.

Be kind to yourself. You are an amazing carer, a wonderful wife, and a dear friend.

Love,
Sandy
oxox
<3 <3 <3