As a caregiver, I was also taken back by her comments. It honestly never occurred to me to not go to appts, be with my husband at chemo,etc.
I recognize that sometimes you can't be there because of work, or kids or your own health needs but because it's hard to see the other person like that??? Yeah, it sure is but I figure it must be harder to be the one with the cancer in your body and anything I can do to ease his situation---I'm there.

Nate, don't feel you need to tough this out. There have been studies done that show having assistance with pain helps people heal faster. As someone who has worked with substance abuse patients for many years,I'm very cautious about painkillers. But, this is not a situation where you need to tough it out. If the meds are giving you unpleasant side effects, talk to your MD. There is a wide variety out there that can help. You might ask for a long acting drug like methadone to help with some of the side effects or just a lower dose of the morphine.