Just remember you have a new family of friends here. And if people judge you, or pass you by because of a little waddle under your neck (repairable if you really wanted - not to big a deal) you really don't want to be with them anyway. Don't we teach our kids that it is what's inside that matters?

I have some single friends your age, never married. I never thought about them being lonely, they do not act like it. The seem to have rich lives, and I certainly don't think anything is wrong with them. Career took precedent in one case, in the other, she is so picky I can't believe she will ever find mister right. But there certainly isn't anything wrong with her.... Don't put being without a significant other on yourself.

I do empathize with your going through this treatment issue alone. That is tough. But even with a dedicated wife, I was depressed and withdrawn, and I was on "mother's little helpers" to keep my head on straight. If you are a healthcare person, you know that being "in a bad place" and real biological clinical depression, are two different things. And when it is happening to you , you cannot really make the right judgement that you are clinically depressed. There is no stigma to being on some seratonin re- uptake inhibitors. With all that you are dealing with, doing depression at the same time when there is something to help you through it, seems an unnecessary burden.

I can tell you that I weeded out my real friends from others in my treatment days. When we are sick with something serious, some people cannot deal with it. It reminds them of their own mortality and vulnerability to having something happen to them. Rather than support us, they keep their distance.... this crowd is no longer part of my circle. The true friends were there for me, put up with my moods, still cared about me even if I was treating them in less than kind ways... but I can count them on one hand. It wasn't easy to be my friend in those days.

And remember you can always vent her...