Lisa - I know what you mean. It is very very isolating this disease... and you are in the throws of it but it won't be like this forever... It doesn
t have to miserable. Just think of this as a new and interesting chapter in your life. You will definitely figure out who your true friends are and you will make new friends. One of my new friends was actually the nurse who took care of me after I got out of the ICU. I couldn't talk- had tubes coming out of every direction but somehow we made a connection and I am still friends with her to this day.
It is definitely a test of your spirit and character this cancer. Its such a huge change in your life.. and no one can really relate to it. Its hard for people to even fathom what it would be liek to not be able to speak clearly or not be able to eat or to have to figure out how to swallow again.. or live with scars on our faces necks arms legs... these are all things they take for granted.
Just try and stay positive and look around for things that inspire you and you will keep your true friends close and also attract new and interesting people who aren't self absorbed or superficial but empathetic to what you have endured.
You are a tough cookie! You made it through all these treatments. You should feel proud of what you have accomplished.
Don't limit yourself with limiting thoughts.... There is still a lot of possibility in your life. You are 38 years young!!! I'm 36 turning 37. I'm married but don't have kids yet. It is weird how people do that.... make otehres feel weird about not being married or not having children...I don't agree with it and I think its plain wrong. I think everyone in this world married not married kids or no kids have something valuable and meaningful to contribute... in small ways and big ways.
Be good to yourself-- I know its hard to pick youself up and recover from these treatments and find a new path. I relaly do. I've had friends not reach out to me- or blow me off and it hurts me it relaly does - but its thier loss really.
I bet you are more of an inspiration to the people around you than you know.
Gravitate to the people who love and respect you and forget the others!
