Bonnie,

Going through a cancer battle can be a test of the wills, as you have certainly found out. As I look back on my experience, I think it was probably a good thing that virtually all of my family (other than my husband) was geographically far enough away not to be a part of the day-to-day ordeal.

It sounds as though your husband was prepared to make some sacrifices as long as the actual treatment was going on, but thought that things could revert to "normal" after it was over, kind of like flipping a switch. (I'm just guessing here, but he may have also assumed that at that point you'd be able to give him more attention again.) However, as you know, recovery from radiation can take months -- in many cases, one month of recovery for each week of treatment. If your husband wasn't aware of this before, he may have had an unrealistic set of expectations.

If Teri is now at the point where she realizes she has to be less dependent and take responsibility for her recovery, it's probably time for her to start to do or say some things that help to show that she's truly grateful for what he did for her these past few months. It sounds like this is a wound that may take awhile to heal, and she may have to be the one to take the first steps toward making it happen.

Cathy