Loretta,

Thank you. I am so sorry that your husband is having a recurrence. I also know what it is like to care for aging parents. Very shortly after we were married 19 years ago my husband and I moved from St. Louis where we were both living at the time to outside of Buffalo, NY, my hometown, to take care of my mother. My father had died a couple years earlier and I am an only child. We cared for my mother for about 16 years until my mother died in 2000. My husband was absolutely wonderful to her. We had both always wanted to live in the Deep South and had tried to get my mother to move with us, but she did not want to leave her home so we stayed in NY. After she died we went through a lengthy process of sorting out and selling her home. We moved to Mississippi in time for 10 months of enjoying the area until Katrina hit. We were very fortunate with that with mainly just (lots of) tree damage. I felt some survivor guilt about that since many of our friends and others have so much damage from the storm and it will take this area years to recover. Michael and I used to semi joke about how we would have to live a long time to see this area anywhere near back to where it was before the storm. And now we have cancer.

Regarding working, since I have only been at my new job a little less than two years I don't want to endanger it. I have a great boss and co-workers and I have FML, but it will only stretch so far. I was reading the comments on the variable recovery times after radiation ends and it doesn't sound really great. I had thought I could work more after it ended, but it doesn't really sound like it. I can do some work out of my home, but my office is about a 30 mile one way trip and I do travel a lot locally to see my babies and families and for meetings. I am concerned about trying to maintain my job and care for my husband too.

I do really enjoy my job too although it has its down side too. I have had three of my babies die since August - one just last Sunday.

Thanks for responding. Good luck with your husband's treatment.

Barbara