Thank you again for the advice. It is a full time challenge trying to convince Michael to eat when it does not taste decent. At least it is the weekend now - no treatment for two days and no work. I have a full time job too and been attempting to work about half days since he started treatment. That has been difficult too. Wherever I am not at (with Michael or at work) I feel guilty.

I actually work for in the health care field in early intervention for the health department. I semi changed careers when we moved to Mississippi two years ago. I had worked in community mental health for years.

Our relatively new status here is also somewhat of a problem. We have some "new" friends here who have been nice. Actually they have been very nice, but since we did not know anyone here when we moved so we don't have long term friends here. We do not have children and only Michael has a sibling who does not live in this area. I have cousins around the country, but no one here. So our support system is very limited. Plus Michael really just wants me near him at this point. So yes, I am tired already - probably more so from worry and sleep problems than actually doing things, but I am concerned about the possibility of me getting sick. Also since I work with young children - birth to three - I worry about me being exposed to colds etc.

So caregivers, what do you do during those moments when the bottom literally seems to drop out of your stomach with the fear of "what if it isn't cured?" or "what if it comes back?" As an old mental health person I ought to know how to cope with this better and it is better than it was the first few weeks before we got the stage 1 prognosis, but I still do get those moments of total panic every now and then. Probably no easy cure or magic solution for that either, I guess. Right now I keep telling myself that nothing in life is certain and to enjoy each day and moment, but right now the enjoyable days don't seem too enjoyable.