As Gary has said, long surgeries are not uncommon and 54 is actually young. You are not a high surgical risk at your age. Get some anti-anxiety medication immediately- you need something to help you calm down. Start with the short acting ones like xanax or ativan and if you need to progress to zoloft that can be added, it just takes a few weeks to really kick in.

Talk to your husband - it's not a good thing to leave him out of what you are feeling. That won't make you feel any better. This is the part about how we're there for each other in good times and bad.
Regards JoAnne

JoAnne - Caregiver to husband, cancer rt. tonsil, mets to soft palate, BOT, 7 lymph nodes - T3N2BM0, stage 4. Robotic assisted surgery, radical neck dissection 2/06; 30 IMTX treatments and 4 cycles of cisplatin completed June 06.