Peace, we are all a bit different about this -- I find myself to be a bit of a stoic/realist and am a bit accepting of the things I cannot change, plus some faith in the professionals that they will do their jobs, but my case was a walk in the park compared to yours.

I strongly recommend that you consult with your surgeon and get some anti-anxiety meds to help you get thru this. My Doc made it really clear to his staff that anything I wanted post-surgery, they should take care of it. Sounds to me like you need some help pre-surgery and toughing it out doesn't make any sense at all if it doesn't help you!

Depending on your personal needs, you may want a lot of family and friends around you -- If so, let them know it!!

Most folks really don't know what to do or say when something like this happens to someone close to them, so they do NOTHING rather than take a chance on doing the wrong thing. In other words, if you want folks around you, tell them that in unmistakable terms -- If you want to be alone (that would be my personal preference, but I think you feel differently about this), let them know that also.

Sometimes we just flat out need some human contact to get us through the hard parts of life and this is definitely harder than usual, so someone holding your hand might be just what you need.

Keep coming back here for some cyber-comfort to go along with the human stuff, because some of the folks here have been through what you are going through and can lend unique support.

Keep on hanging in there.