Dear Peace, please tell you Doctors that you cannot do this by yourself, and ask them to assign a mentor who will be there with you through the process. If you do not have a family member available, then ask them to find a patient advocate, a nurse, a volunteer who will stick with you from this point on. I wager that 80% of the people [on OCF] going through this have help and we know how important that is. You sound "very alone".Is that true? If it is, then you need a partner and you need to ask for one. Amy