Hi Peace,

My Jack was the biggest baby on the planet BEFORE his cancer. He couldn't even go into the room when our son got shots because his arm would hurt and it made him upset. He thought getting his teeth cleaned was a major procedure to have.

Then along comes stage 4 cancer, surgery, radiation, and chemo and Jack found a strength that neither of us had seen before. You do it one moment at a time, and if you need an anti-anxiety medication - and many patients and caregivers benefit from that - don't hesitate to ask for them.

You also talk to your medical team at every visit. Let them know you're afraid and ask them for help. Also accept help from your friends and family. We organized everyone who was remotely interested to help with the driving back and forth, errands etc.

Keep posting as this is a support group of people who've been there. Take advantage of all the services of the facility you are being treated at. Most have comprehensive interdisciplinary team that work with you.

Jack found visualization worked - he picked calming memories of places we'd been to and put himself there to make the time pass. Taking Ativan to calm down was critical to being able to tolerate the mask.

You can do this, and it's okay to be scared. Jack thought of the radiation like a bug zapper - it was going after those cancer cells and killing them off. Every single treatment killed another one, and you are empowered by doing something to help yourself.

I don't think it matters how you get thru treatment as long as you do. If you need to cry, get medication, go for walks - well you'll figure it out. My big baby turned into a fighter for this, and the experience has changed him forever. You should see him go to the doctor now. He has all kinds of procedures and doesn't think twice about it.

When you have no choice, you find a way.

Good luck and stay strong.
Regards JoAnne