Dear Friends,

It has been MONTHS since I have been in here. Thanks to Amy sending me a Private message, I came back here and saw all of your lovely messages to me. It has been a little over 4 months since my mom died and I find myself not getting any better. I am so busy with work but find myself just bursting into tears, even at my new job, which I started right after my mom passed away. I just cry at the drop of a hat, these days. I never experienced anything like this before and I appreciate all your words of support. I cant imagine the losses you all have suffered as well. And so many of you are also survivors of this awful disease and have the best attitude. That is so inspirational to me. But, I get angry at the dentist that never diagnosed the infection in her gums. I get angry at family (outside my immediate family) for not being more supportive or caring. I find myself picking up the phone to call my best friend, my mom, and then I remember she passed and I just cry. It is hard for me to concentrate at work, these days. I am so depressed and miserable and find myself having dreams of her all the time. And then I wake up and remember she is not here. I feel so alone in this. My twin sister and I both find ourselves crying a lot, but, when I go home, my house seems so empty. But your words are encouraging. What I wonder is when I am going to start to feel better. It has been 4 months and I dont feel any better. I feel even worse. I see some of you have lost spouses, siblings, and parents. It is so hard. But you all have such positive things to say, so I will try to remember your advice, when I get down. Thanks again. God Bless you all..
PS: I asked for donations from my family to OCF and some contributed, which made me very happy. OCF has been such a support to me and my family!
Love,
Stephany