Danny Boy,

You said it so perfectly. I sometimes have to stay away from OCF for a few days to "decompress", but I find myself being drawn back every time. Sometimes it's torture reading all the survivor stories because I can't help but think "why not Heather, too?" At the same time, I, too, hope I can be of some help to others. My feelings are so contradictory I don't know half the time if I'm coming or going.

And I certainly do need a good cry every now and then! Lately it seems to be more NOW than then. I cry not only for the loss of Heather, but for all the souls lost from this terrible disease. Hearing that Lynn had died was really hard. My heart aches for her husband and 2 young children. I can't help but wonder if this suffering will ever stop.

Obviously, as a caregiver instead of a patient, my plight isn't the same as yours, but I still feel a kinship with you. I can't wait to meet you guys. See you in Vegas!

Rainbows & hugs, wink
Rosie

P.S. I've decided that as long as I am financially able, I am going to donate to OCF every time the forum loses a member to this disease. This one is for Lynn.

Was primary caregiver to my daughter Heather who had stage IV base of tongue SCC w/ primary recurrence. Original diagnosis August 21st, 2002. Primary recurrence March 18th, 2003. Died October 6th, 2003.