Minnie:

Thank You...I awoke this morning and the swelling receded by half, and that is encouraging to me.

Margaret:

Thank You for your support and concern.

I used to be well organized like you. Then I became an alcoholic. I have "pushed away" all the people that love me.

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

I was in deep depression before the cancer and no one understands that it is hard for me to even take a shower or make a can of soup. I have no caregiver. I eat when I am starved into it.

The cancer is scaring the heck out of me, but today, on my 51st birthday my main concern is for the well being of my immediate family who no longer love me and rightfully so.

I am being schooled a Harvard education in humility. Which, by the grace of God, is keeping me from that 1st "sucker drink" today.

Whether it be happenstance, karma, or fate the courts picked a lovely day for the summary judgment on my home.

I must work diligently today to assure that none in my family have bitter tears because of me.

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.

It is I that must make the amends, to ensure this never happens.

Besides leaving them with nothing, I detest the thought of the above happening to them. The cancer is just an added befit of the consequences of alcoholism.

My wife asked me if there was something special I would like to do today. My reply was "die".

A punishment to some, to some a gift, and to many a favor.

Cheers, Petey