Petey, One thing is pretty sure since you are fighting cancer--if you want to die, you can. Just quit your treatment. But don't delude yourself that you would be in any way making amends for what you need to make amends for, or helping your family, by doing that. You would not be giving anyone a gift. All you would be doing is giving into fear and self-pity.

Your family needs to have you around to SEE that you can change, through the grace of your higher power and the hard work of really WORKING your program every. single. day. Their attitude toward you may not change right away, even though you are fighting cancer, but it will change if you keep up that work. And keep up the cancer fight too.

Right now, it's about accepting life on life's terms and life's terms are certainly pretty harsh at the moment. But it's your life, and you're being given the medical care to keep that life going. Be grateful for that and treat your life with the respect it, and every life, deserves.

Nelie