Petey,

You're tearing my heart out! Please try not to be so negative and if you're really that depressed, ask the damned doctors for some anti-depressants and the name of a counselor!

You know, "things" come and go. Money comes and goes. People don't. You may perceive you're wife and kids as being pissed at you, and they very well may be! But you're here and by the grace of God, you're sober. Make your amends! The love of family is unconditional. It's not an emotion, it's a decision. Each one of us as married people has at some time or other, HAD to make the decision to love because our spouse was human, TOO human, and did something lousey, unfeeling, hurtful or damaging to the relationship. I'm taking it for granted that you're still in your relationship, which means you have opportunity to work on it. Sometimes these horrible things like cancer can actually draw people back together.

Is your wife in Al-Anon? If not, try to convince her to go. We love the sinner but despise the sin. That's normal. We're human. But the trick is to continually and unconditionally love the sinner.

If you feel like talking, or your wife feels like talking, my husband is a veteran of an anonymous group, I'm a veteran on an Anon group, and we're both a team couple of a marriage ministry that helps to heal troubled marriages and marriages on the brink of dissolving. I don't think I even have to mention that I was my Aunt's cancer buddy for more than four years.

And when all else fails.......... pray my friend. The good Lord is here and listening 24/7.
Go to a church, any church in the middle of the day when no one else is there. Scream, cry, plead, get it all out and then leave it there and start anew.

I have great faith in you. We all do. I know what you have accomplished thus far, and I have confidence in all you can accomplish, and so does He. Just ask Him for help. Let Him be your cancer buddy.

Hugs,
Lisa