MarvB, l’m sorry your wife is having a hard time. It is sometimes hard for caregivers because one feels so helpless. I don’t know how many radiation treatments you’ve had, but is it possible that the swelling in your tongue is a reaction to the radiation since edema is a side effect? Head and neck cancer is tough, my husband had dehydration, developed deep vein thrombosis in both legs to the extent that he was unable to walk for a time, as well as swallowing problems. It was, indeed, one thing after another. We (I include both John and myself because I wanted to fight the battle by his side) persisted. I was very conscious that we needed to make new memories. It brought us a whole year’s extra time and I dare say it could have been more if John had heeded the advice of the speech and language pathologist diligently. In that time, immunotherapy went from a Stage 1 trial to being marketed. Although it did not help John, I’m proud of the fact that we contributed by taking part in the Stage 1 trial. John saw a therapist all that time and I would like to think that he got the support he needed to go through some of the more harrowing moments during the treatments. I hope what I am saying can help to give you a slightly different perspective. I have you and your wife on my mind,