Any cancer is confronting, oral cancer particularly so. I don't really judge those who were nowhere to be found during treatment.

I feel like we had enough people around we could depend on. And help did come from unlikely places. Overall I'd say I have more faith in the meaning of friendship rather than less. Still, my experience is mine alone and I don't want to deny feelings of hurt and disappointment experienced by others.

I had a conversation with an acquaintance, who is a dear friend of several dear friends, at a party recently. She said she wanted me to know that we have been in her thoughts since the diagnosis and she was genuinely affected but felt it would be awkward to phone. I have to assume that others carry us in their hearts but don't have the courage to say it.