Heather, you need to understand the nature of these boards and the history of patients or caregivers who come here and post.

What we see is a lot of them blindly accept the diagnosis and treatment plan given to them by one physician who may or may not have the experience to treat oral cancer. All of us here advocate at least getting a second opinion at a NCI designated Comprehensive Cancer Center for many reasons but mainly because they see 100's of patients a year and use a multidisciplinary approach to recommend a treatment plan.

I am sorry that you felt attacked for your decision but we know that this disease is unforgiving and the best guns need to be there the first time. When we don't see that you have at least consulted with a CCC, we all kind of jump in and recommend that you do in case it is something that is simply not on the radar.

If you have done your homework and you are comfortable in your decision, we all respect that. Please understand that we have no way of knowing the process that got you to your decision and only want the best outcome for your husband.

After you are on the boards here for a while, you will see what I am talking about.

Wishing you the best,

Deb