Here's another thought Heather, that you can't make an "informed" decision when you don't have the experience to make it. Or have you and your husband been through oral cancer before?

Have you traveled the country speaking on this disease to major universities(as Brian and I have done, more him than I), in front of the CDC (as Davidcpa has), been involved with the major marketing campaigns such as Truth.org, and the CDC's anti smoking campaigns (like ChristineB's) after surviving the experience yourself and then turning around and helping literally thousands of others through their own experience with cancer? I'm going venture that you haven't.

The best advice anyone can give you, is to get the absolute "BEST" medical advice available to you, which is MDA. After that, the only thing you and your husband can control is your attitude and your nutrition, everything else is up to the expertise of your medical professionals and how your husbands body and his cancer reacts to treatment.

There have been so many examples on these forums of aggressive tongue cancers that have ended in horrible deaths, but two recent examples would be Liza and Nate, both close to me. Liza has a beautiful family, husband and their three children, all in their teens or early twenties. Nate had a fianc� (who left him after his recurrence), his mom Pam, brother Nick and his nephew Lyfe.

Both of these beautiful souls died this year Heather after their cancer recurred several times, as is generally the way with aggressive tongue cancers. Nate underwent two rounds of radiation and chemo to the head and neck, had his tongue resected 2x before they eventually removed it entirely along with his larynx. This left him unable to talk or eat. Liza passed early this year, Nate passed this summer.

I was very close to both of these people, Nate and I were extremely close and I had the opportunity to spend time with him and his family in Houston on a few occasions, staying at their home. I was there for a week just a few days before his death this summer. Nate was on a lot of drugs near the end and tired, spending the majority of the time asleep, so I mostly spent time with Pam and Nick, who are like my family really.

One of Pam's thoughts that she shared with me, and I know haunts her, is if her son would be alive today if he'd been treated at MDA from the beginning. Nate had chose LBJ due to his surgeon for the first go around, the second time he couldn't get into MDA due to lack of insurance, and by the time he finally got into MDA, his only chance was to have his tongue and larynx completely removed followed by another round of rads and chemo in the hopes that this time it worked.

I haven't contributed much on these boards, nor taken on any newly diagnosed patients since Nate passed, I think it's obvious the wound's are still too fresh for me to be of much help in this aspect. I'll admit to that and apologize for it.

What I don't want, is for you to have anything in the back of your mind that would cause you to blame yourself if things do not go well for your husband. Hit this thing doing everything in your power to beat it and if your husband doesn't make it you knew there was absolutely nothing more you both could've done.

It's going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better Heather, treatment is horrible and you shouldn't try to do it without support and family, nor your medical team will know what you both need like those on these forums. Gather other caregivers around you, and I encourage your husband to find survivors to surround him...and then give it hell.

Good luck Heather, whatever decision you choose.

Eric