So let me get this all down here Heather and see if this makes sense.

Your husband has "aggressive" late stage lateral tongue cancer (a diagnosis we've seen many of our friends and loved ones die horrible deaths from on these boards) and you won't take him to get a second opinion from the best medical facility in the "country" AND you won't take the "expert" advice and support of these boards because something I've written has offended you...

Cancer shakes the very foundation of life, so if this is the case, and you are too emotional to make rational decisions for your husband and family I suggest you get someone else to make health care decisions for your husband so he's got the very best chance at living, which is the only thing that myself or anyone else on these forums care about.

I'll leave further advice for other posters here as I'm obviously not the best person to try to communicate with you. Best of luck for what it's worth.

Eric