My husband also declined a second opinion because he trusted his doctor. After I met him, I agreed. Our doctor friends agreed - they said that what you need is to trust your lead doctor. Funny enough, one of the women we ride with has a father that is a top ENT. Our ENT was a resident under her dad .... and after she asked him about it, he said we were in great hands.

In the case of a complicated diagnosis, a second opinion would be in order, IMO. And the doctor might well insist on it. I think that people on this site forget that if there is a tumor board involved, additional opinions and knowledge are brought into the program.

From my point of view, doctor related red flags include: not offering a second opinion, lack of interest in the patient, lack of experience with oral cancer, intellectual dullness, and too much ego (note that surgeons have to have some or they could not do what they do). The doctor needs to be very aware of the state of the art in oral cancer treatment, and he or she has to want to apply it as well as humanly possible to you or your loved one, and have the skillset, support staff and tools to do so.

Maria