John, Sorry you are feeling so bad. Me telling you it will get better unfortunately isn't going to make you feel better. Be patient with yourself and you will get through this. My husband didn't want to know anything that was going to happen during treatments and asked me questions on a "need to know" basis. He also thought once treatments were done he would just wake up and feel better. The first few weeks after treatment John just camped out on the sofa hooked up to his pump for nutrition and hydration and watched every episode of Three and A Half Men out there. Hang in there! Hugs.

Wanda (47) caregiver to husband John (56) age at diag.(2009)
1-13-09 diagnosed Stage IV BOT SCC (HPV+)
2-12-09 PEG placed, 7-6-09 removed
Cisplatin 7 weeks, 7 weeks (35) IMRT
4-15-09 - treatment completed
8-09,12-09-CT Scans clear, 4-10,6-11-PET Scans clear
4-2013 - HBO (30 dives) tooth extraction
10-2019 - tooth extraction, HBO (10 dives)
11-2019 - Left lateral tongue SCC - Stage 2