John, as others have said, you are at the absolutely WORST PART of this entire surgery/treatment phase. You are on the ground now, but you will be able to stand up again soon. You have been thru a war, your body needs to heal itself... and it will. I am living proof that it can be done. I lost 75% of my tongue, had a neck dissection, forearm freeflap and 6 wks of radiation. I would do it all again in a heartbeat because it saved my life.

as others state above, you will get thru it. Find something to keep yourself distracted. take the meds as prescribed, get plenty of sleep and take in plenty of water.

soon this will all be just a bad memory.

DX 12/6/10 of T3 SCC Tongue.
Surgery 1/3/11 was hemigloss & forearm free flap, midline mandibulectomy, Neck Disection-All nodes clear.
Ended rads 5/11/11. Taste buds back to about 80%. PEG removed 4/5/12, experimenting eating real food again. If I can do this, so can you !! Stay Strong.