John - My heart goes out to you! My son was exactly where you are now and feeling the same feelings. The doctor also gave him a couple of breaks to be able to get thru the worst of it all, as well as depression and pain meds. Be sure and let your doctor know exactly how you are feeling. You have had such good suggestions above. Stay with us, do what you have to, to help your body heal, and vent away whenever you have to. You CAN do this!