Hi John,

While not having gone through the physical journey myself, I did accompany my mother through the incredibly unkind process of surgery, radiation, and chemo. We had no idea either what radiation was going to be like, no matter who warned us (including a friend who had gone through it himself). We thought surgery was going to be the worst part too. We were so wrong. Nothing can prepare you for head/neck radiation I don't think. I remember my moms surgeons saying to her "if we told you how bad it was going to be, you wouldn't have done it." And there is a lot of truth to that. She had gone through surgery, chemo and radiation for breast cancer years ago and radiation was the easiest part of the process, so I think it took her by surprise how incredibly different the affects are when treating oral cancer.

You are probably at the lowest, most angry, saddest point you are going to be at throughout this process. I'm glad you have come here to vocalize your feelings and reach out for the support and kinship others here can give you. Nothing we say or do is going to change what you are going through, or how you are going to feel physically, but knowing there are people here who have been right where you are now has to help a little bit, to know you're not alone, and to know that IT WILL GET BETTER. That is something we can all promise you. It seemed like a day was a year when my mom was going through treatments, and even had to take a few breaks due to the mucositis and other damage treatment had done to her, so the process took even longer than we expected... but it does end. You will get there. You won't feel like this forever and while it may take a while to start to feel like yourself again, so many people here will help you get there.

Hang in there, we are all sending you healing thoughts and positive vibes.