Iceman,

I was 33 years old when I was diagnosed, I didn't have much of a shot at living due to late stage and invasiveness of my tumors, however I walked through the hell that was treatment and surgery.

After my mandiblectomy, I too became disfigured, disabled, and lost everything that I felt defined me. I needed massive amounts of pain medications to handle the pain, I drowned myself in self pity and secluded myself from the rest of the world really as I didn't like to socialize any more due to my appearance and the challenges I faced due to the side effects of treatment. I "loved" myself (maybe too much...yes definitely too much), my job, and my life before cancer and found myself robbed of all of it, the pain was almost too much to bear.

When I found these forums, in many ways I found hope again. I was able to interact with others who could relate to the road I now found myself on, they could understand my pain and frustration and empathize with my feelings of loss and despair. That is what you have on these forums my friend...people who care, who can relate...and ultimately help you.

Iceman (which reminds me of Chuck Liddell as I'm a huge UFC fan) what I would tell you is that I'm here for you brotha if you need. I care and I understand and I'm available to you whenever, no strings, no judgement, just support my friend. The hand we've been dealt as young men sucks ass and is a daily struggle, trust me I've lived it too. What I found in the end though is how I face it is my choice. I wake up everyday and make the choice to not let it beat me, not let it kill my spirit. I wake up everyday and choose my attitude and in a way, when I choose to be positive, help others with this disease, raise awareness, and live "above" what cancer has handed to me, it's like raising my middle finger and telling it to F#ck Off.

I'm an insolent cuss like that anyway, I won't let it beat me and that's what it will do if I focus on the negative, so instead I put on what I consider a smile (who can tell really as my face is all f#cked up) and in doing so stand in defiance to the disease that tried to kill and break me.

Take this one by the horns brotha, let us help you see that there are ways to enjoy life if you choose it. I know for me, I am more than what I look like, I am more than what I'm able to do physically, I am more than what this disease has taken from me. You are too my friend, you just have to believe it.


I'm here when you choose to start fighting back, but only you can make that choice my friend.


Love you brotha, keep fighting


Eric