Pat from all that I'm reading you are doing a fantastic job so just keep your chin up and keep trying and lean on the fantastic caregivers on this site to help you through.

I look back now that I'm not in a drug induced stupor and marvel at how my wife held me up by my boot straps while having really no support herself. To this day she's never been on these forums (I keep trying!). I look back at the stupid sh!t I said and did, most of which I don't even remember, and think why in God's name did she even stay by me? I'm thankful for her everyday as I'm sure your husband will be for you when he's allowed to reflect back.

Really ladies, I'm in awe of you for how you do it and can only pray I'd have the fortitude. My hats off to you all.

Eric