CM - I'm so sorry for what you and Matt are having to go through - It is so hard to fight depression and try to help someone else also going through such a difficult time. Try not to feel guilty for the little rays of light that come by to help you feel better. As caregivers, we all need those moments to help ourselves be stronger in order to get through with the caregiving. There were times when I wondered, too - how could I keep from getting "sucked down into the darkness"? I wanted so much to see some little sign that my son's depression might be lifting. Trying to get a depressed person from sad to happy cannot be done all at once. It is only done in very small steps. I would ask my son "On a scale of 1-10, can you tell me how you are feeling?" If he said "4", I would ask if he could manage to try to get to a 5 or even 4.5. Just trying to get himself to one little notch up seemed to be a little easier that getting himself out of the deep hole he was in. I would find myself searching for any small happy moment that I could share with him like something sweet his daughter had said or done. And it helped me, too. You are right about those "little rays of light" - and when they come, hang on to them for as long as you can. I do hope that more of them will come your way for you and Matt.