Suez,
If you haven't read "Codependent No More", by Melody Beattie, I strongly recommend it. The only person you can save is yourself, and you need to start now. Al-Anon is a really good suggestion too. I am working on changing my "caretaking" behaviour every day now. So different from "caregiving". Good luck. Anne

Anne - CG to Gordon (59), non-smoker/non-drinker. SCC, BOT, HPV 16+, stage 3. Jan./10 - radical neck dissection to remove 48 lymph nodes, 1 node pos. Apr. 23/10 - finished 35 rad. and 3 cisplatin. Jul. 22/10 - PET scan clear.