CM, my heart just goes out to you and Matt. I just re-read your previous posts and it sounds like Matt is tired of the recurrences and fighting this disease. While he is dealing with the prospect of dying, you are grieving the life that you had together prior to this insidious disease. While the "old" life may not return, a new life can begin... and your relationship is and will continue to grow stronger as you fight this battle together. Do you think that the two of you could take vacation or a mini-vacation and do something that is enjoyable to you both.... just some activity to serve as a distraction to dealing with cancer could be very helpful.

Anyway, I'll keep you both in my prayers.

Big hug to ya from NC.

Dodie