Thanks to all of you who have posted here. It's really helpful.

Before I was diagnosed with SCC in Oct of this year, my life was overwhelmed with caring for others. My mother was diagnosed with brain cancer in June. My step-daughter needs a lot of special care. I was just overwhelmed with caring for, and thinking about, others. Now I'm trying to spend each day focusing on What Do I Need?

It's been, uh, interesting going from being a caregiver (for my mother's brain cancer) to a cancer patient myself.

I still feel a little guilty for letting go of some of the responsibilities I'm "supposed" to take on - helping with my mother, etc. But I remember a conversation with my sweetie after I was diagnosed with cancer, when I said "I need permission to just let go of responsibility for my parents' household and what happens there." Her response was "The universe just gave you permission."

To some of those caregivers out there, you have a harder process in front of you. You may not have an obvious "excuse" such as your own cancer diagnosis, but you have just as much permission to do what you need to do to take care of yourself, to follow your own path.

It sounds reasonable and like good advice as I type, but I also sit here feeling guilty even now, worried that family or friends might think that I'm selfish for doing what I need to do for my own life. That someone close to me will be mad at me forever. But I'm trying, each day, to make different decisions than I used to make, to think about what I need, and to remember that I'm not responsible for others' feelings. My life will be better if I put myself first and even if I feel bad or afraid I might upset someone, I need to live my life in a way that makes sense for me - and deal with those feelings and fears about others' reactions.

Hope that helps. Thanks for listening!

Rahel