I am tired of pretending to be ok
I am tired of my burning tongue
I am tired of being scared
I am tired of putting a smile on my face when thats not how I feel on the inside
I am tired of worrying about re-occurance
I am tired of feeling sorry for myself
I am tired of medication
I am tired of "My new normal"
I am tired of being tired
I am tired of thinking about my health every single day
I am tired of the the way I talk
I hate talking on the phone
In fact I hate talking at all.
I am tired of digging food out of the roof of my mouth so I can chew and swallow.
I am tired of not tasting food. (I didn't even have tx or rads)


I know that some of you have it far more worse than I do,, and I apoligize for my bad attitude. I just can't seem to continue to pretend nothing is wrong with me. I am sad and I just feel terrible. Believe it or not I am on deppression meds and have been for months. Gosh, I can't imagine how I would feel without them. I keep waiting for the day when things get better and they just don't seem to. I just want to check out for the world. I would love crawl into my house and never leave.

so sad