Wendy, I can identify with your being tired of the "new normal". That sounded like a big fat euphemism to me when I first got into all this. For what it's worth I think your poem is a good thing because you have expressed yourself, got it all out and done so in style - with an admirable honesty. This shows, I think, that you are able to stand back and look at yourself. It's hard to put it into words but from what I read, you sound like a cool person. As Erik says so admirably, this cancer can't take away your personality. A cool person is still cool even with a bit of a slur to the speech.
I think you need to see your doctor about your anti-depressants - maybe you need a change or adjustment. And I can't understand the lack of taste. I was told that taste buds are right through the mouth not just on the tongue. Hmmm. Finally - counselling. I talked to a cancer nurse who had trained to teach cognitive behavioural therapy and that was very helpful.
You are so young at 46 to be feeling like this. Lots of good wishes:)


1996, ovarian cancer surgery + cisplatin and taxol.
September, 2007, SCC of left lateral tongue. Excision.
October, 2009 recurrence in scar tissue, T1NOMO. Free flap surgery from left wrist - neck dissection. 63 year old New Zealander. No chemo, no RT.
February, 2014. New primary in left buccal mucosa. Marginal mandibulectomy, neck dissection, right arm free forearm flap. T1N0M0 but third occurrence and some areas of concern: RT started 8 April and finished 19 May.