Wendy, Im sorry you are feeling so low. This is a good place to vent. What concerns me is your statement about checking out of the world. Please talk with a professional, it can only help.

We all have our daily challenges. Mine arent easy either. Im like Eric, oral cancer has left me disfigured but it didnt kill me. OC tried to get me 3 times but I overcame it. Walking around every single day just like I was a regular normal person gets many stares. Sometimes I forget that I look funny while Im out in public going about my business. I am still the same spunky happy comical person. Cancer cant take my personality from me.

Try to think about something you like doing. Could be anything even reading a book in your favorite chair or playing with a pet. Something other than your ailments to focus on. Maybe take a walk in the park on a nice sunny day. Sometimes I take a book and sit in the park for hours and read. If your kept busy and focus on the good parts of your life then you will have less time to feel down. Im sure you have things to be happy about. You are a cancer survivor, you should be proud that you beat it and are still here to tell about it.

Wish I was able to help more. Hope today is a better day for you.