OP Senior Member (100+ posts) Joined: Sep 2009 Posts: 177 | I am tired of pretending to be ok I am tired of my burning tongue I am tired of being scared I am tired of putting a smile on my face when thats not how I feel on the inside I am tired of worrying about re-occurance I am tired of feeling sorry for myself I am tired of medication I am tired of "My new normal" I am tired of being tired I am tired of thinking about my health every single day I am tired of the the way I talk I hate talking on the phone In fact I hate talking at all. I am tired of digging food out of the roof of my mouth so I can chew and swallow. I am tired of not tasting food. (I didn't even have tx or rads)
I know that some of you have it far more worse than I do,, and I apoligize for my bad attitude. I just can't seem to continue to pretend nothing is wrong with me. I am sad and I just feel terrible. Believe it or not I am on deppression meds and have been for months. Gosh, I can't imagine how I would feel without them. I keep waiting for the day when things get better and they just don't seem to. I just want to check out for the world. I would love crawl into my house and never leave.
so sad
Wendy 46yrs@ DX 9/16/09 T1N0 SCC of leftlat tongue, poorly differentiated.Partial glosectomy 10/01/09 & 10/16/09 & 11/10/09 60-70% tongue removed, Radical fff, 38 nodes-clear, no rads/chemo. 3 petscans-clear
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