I discovered about 4 weeks ago that my husband of 23 years had been having an affair, for about 18 months, with a much younger woman.

Through my two rounds of treatment in mid 2008 and again in late 2009 my husband had been my greatest support. He took time off work, both times, and always seemed patient, loving and concerned.

Sometime after my treatment in 2008 this affair started. I feel such a fool for not suspecting anything. My 20 year old daughter had his mobile when a message from the 'other' woman came through and I later discovered a number of 'deleted' e-mails to and from this woman on my husband's work laptop. He admitted the affair only after he was faced with irrefutable evidence.

I am devasted, especially since my prognosis was very poor coming into my last round of treatment in December last year. He says that it only happened because of the Cancer! What a cop out. The affair started when I was recovering from my first treatment and for 9 months it continued while I was Cancer free, back at work and functioning on all cylinders.

He says he has ended the affair and will never have contact with this woman again. I have had a couple of hospital stays since finding out about this, due to getting a PEG fitted and Cellulitis to the face and neck. Once I got past these hiccups I asked him to leave and he is staying with his elderly mother.

I feel so betrayed and hurt especially after all we have been through. I am having counselling but that just confuses me all the more. I just can't understand how someone who was my biggest support and knew how hard my treatments were on me could betray me in such a devastating fashion. He says he loves me and that the 'other' woman means nothing to him. He is desperate to reconcile.

I feel like a rabbit caught in headlights. A future without him terrifies me but I can't forgive, or understand what he has done. What do I do to move forward?

Sue G.