Hi Sue. I'm so, so sorry that your husband was weak, cruel and insensitive. Obviously this was not just some fling since you said it went on for a long.......time. I have always told my husband "if the day comes when I am no longer enough for you, please do me the courtesy of telling me and not disrespecting me and our marriage by sneaking around with someone else." Life is about choices. Do you think he would have ever told you unless he was caught? I would personally rather be alone than lonely. Life is to short and I could never forgive the dishonesty and disrespect. If you choose to stay together you will always be questioning where he is, who he is with and what he is doing.

I know they say that 50% of married couples do forgive and stay together but I couldn't. I also think it is very cowardly to blame the cancer on his immature choices. If someone is going to cheat - they are going to cheat and there is NOTHING you can do to stop it.

You also have the right to ask about the details and get every question you have answered by him. First and foremost, take care of yourself. You did nothing to make him go outside your marriage - it was HIS choice.