Thanks Eric,

My (new) psychiatrist at my CCC said a similar thing to me, in that this is a suprisingly common(if inappropriate) action taken by males when their partners have cancer. This information was interesting but still upsetting to me. Hearing your story and those of others who have reconciled after similar experiences does provide some hope that perhaps we can work through this. My husband is desperate to reconcile, but I still don't know if I have the capacity to move forward from this.

I thought that I had a solid, happy marriage, and that if anything the Cancer had brought us closer. That's how blind I was to this affair! This betrayal has hit me hard and I find myself bogged down in wanting to know details that my husband believes will serve no purpose in discussing. I feel like I have a right to have all my questions answered in order to either move forward and reconcile, or to make a decision that the marriage is beyond salvaging.

If I am able I would like to reconcile but I am unable to take that step without really understanding my husband's motives and his feelings for the other woman. (He says he has none but I don't believe that given the length of the affair -18 months- and that they also had a friendship for 12 months before there was any physical involvement)

Sue