Hi Lisa,

I am a widow and lived alone also when I was diagnosed with oral cancer under my tongue and then into my lymph nodes. My daughter, who is an R.N., moved from Kansas to "take care of me". It sounds good, but.... She made sure I had someone go to radiation with me everyday but other than that she has been more of a nuisance than a help. She is a former drug addict addicted now to narcotics anonymous. She goes to 3-4 (or more) meetings a week, leaving me home without my car. Now she got a full time job so she leaves me without a car even more. I am watching the Suns pulverize the Trailblazers right now at home, which is great, but in order for me to have my own car tomorrow I have to take her to work at 6:00 A.M.

Plus she is a religious fanatic who blows me off if I ever complain or worry about recurrence by saying "God will take care of you." When I answer back, why did God even give me cancer, that wasn't a very "loving God", the fight begins.

And the fact that no one understands oral cancer is another problem. I don't post much because I don't even know what the T1 and all that is. I just know what I've gone through and that I was told I was stage IV and that's no good. My own mother had breast cancer and she had a lumpectomy and radiation, no chemo, and she has made it five years and is okay. And yet, like you say, the research goes on and on for breast cancer and no mention of oral cancer. So my mom tells me, "They only radiate you for 20 seconds" when I was told I had to have radiation and chemo. Well, they might only radiate boobs for a short time, but I was nailed to the table for 15-20 minutes every radiation treatment.

Not only that, but most other cancers don't show for all the world to see like our oral cancer does. I have the crooked smile, no teeth, and the ugly neck and it has basically ruined my social life. I feel connected to your loneliness completely. My family seems to think that food has to be associated with everything and since I have no teeth yet I don't want to go out to eat and watch everyone enjoy their steak.

But I am going to Vegas to see Cher next month and trying to plan some other vacations, maybe New York, while I'm feeling well. And hopefully I can get dentures made next month. I started getting them but my gums were just too sore so the dentist is making me wait another month and try again.

I hope you are feeling better. I'm gonna add you to facebook. I'm Barbara Pool on there.