Jeff and Vanessa

First off, "even the Best fall down sometime". Everyone told me I was the toughest guy they had ever met and I certainly had a self concept of warrior. Yet, I sat on my couch and just wanted to die many many times during treatment. I should have cried though (held on until the recurrence and failed swallow test). You are hardly a baby to be knocked on your ass by this disease. Even to this day, there are certain songs that my wife and I cannot bear to listen to as they evoke those terrible terrible times.
One concept that will be helpful to you both once you are through this is "the new normal". Basically it means that radiation is the gift that keeps on giving and that even after all the TX is done, life will never be the same but very different. Hard as it is to believe, but you actually adjust to all this travail and sorrow and side effects. Feel free to vent here anytime as we are the only ones who truly understand what you are going through. Hope all goes well
charm