Hi Cecilia,

I remember the days you are going through like they were yesterday. I couldn't get Dan to even walk around the block because he was afraid of seeing someone he knew and he had lost his voice and so much weight that he just was self-conscious. On the days when he did have energy to get out of bed, he would just pace the bedroom hallway.

Eventually, (maybe 4+ weeks post treatment) I got him to get into the car and I would drive to a park where we were sure not to run into anyone we knew and he started to slowly walk (just a tiny bit at first and then a little bit farther every day).

However, what helped the most was when I took him in to see his family physician for a follow up after a night in the ER for a staph infection.

The doc (who has known him for years) asked him how he was and of course my husband said he was fine. I went on a rant about how he was anything BUT fine. And, I described all the goings on that you mentioned in your posts above and then some.

The doc had a heart to heart with Dan and told him he was in a crappy situation...recovering from treatment, not being able to eat, not being able to work, not having any energy...and then he explained that he (like most people who have had the crap kicked out of them from treatments) was dealing with situational depression. And, after much cajoling and a little stern talking, he finally convinced my husband to go on anti-depressants for a couple of months until the situation got better.

Once my husband could eat regular foods again, his mood and outlook improved and he went off the antidepressants about 3-4 months after he started. He doesn't think they made a huge difference. But, as the caregiver, I want you to know they made a GIGANTIC difference. I was to the point that I wanted the doc to prescribe him something to deal with his depression or prescribe me something so I could deal with him.

The nice folks at our CCC tried to get Dan to go on anti depressants, but they were not successful. I think it was the long-standing relationship with our family doctor and the opportunity to talk to him outside of the cancer center that really made a difference.

I wish you luck! This part is hard on patient and caregiver alike.