It's very hard to look at a perspective through someones else's eyes. Mind reading and assumptions are dangerous practices in a relationship. Find the right time, use "I" statements and ask him to share his feelings about his entire experience.

It may be entirely different from your perspective. He may have wanted to protect and insulate the rest of the family until he felt like he had some control back in his life. Maybe he didn't want to pass the fear he was feeling.

Conversely some of my friends couldn't bear to watch what I was going through and distanced themselves from me. Seeing your own mortality can be very difficult. I was a cargeiver for my father during the terminal phase of his non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, and I can tell you it was very depressing. I saw myself in that bed, at 65 lbs, every time I looked at him. And then to look at myself in the mirror at 109 lbs, well you get the picture (thinking to myself is this all there is - is this how it really ends?!?!). I wasn't well enough to have visitors for quite a while and I was real handful for my wife.

Maybe its not about you...