His life is out of control because of this cancer, it's been turned upside down. Loss of control like that, in particular (in my opinion)for a man is TOUGH. Let him control the things he can control. He obviously has his reasons for not wanting her to see him, reasons that he shouldn't have to explain nor feel badly about. I can just about promise you that it wasn't intended to hurt your daughter nor to cause you to have any issues. It's something he needed for himself, and given what he's gone through physically and emotionally, he deserves it.
Talk to him about it and see if his explanations can give you closure, but if not, I would suggest leaving it alone and not making it a personal issue.
Good luck,
Minnie

SCC Left Mandible. Jaw replaced with bone from leg. Neck disection, 37 radiation treatments. Recurrence 8-28-07, stage 2, tongue. One third of tongue removed 10-4-07. 5-23-08 chemo started for tumor behind swallowing passage, Our good friend and much loved OCF member Minnie has been lost to the disease (RIP 10-29-08). We will all miss her greatly.